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Thursday, 03 November 2011 19:34

The Winklevoss Wondertwins Aren't Ready to Give Up the Gun After All

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The Winklevoss Wondertwins Aren't Ready to Give Up the Gun After AllAmerica’s favorite pair of oar-bearing, Lacoste-wearing, jealous twins said in June that they were dropping their Supreme Court appeal of a 2008 settlement with Facebook. But, after an “impromptu road trip to Mexico” with the Brothers Winklevii, Vanity Fair’s Dana Vachon reports in the December issue of the sister Condé Nast publication that we, and Mark Zuckerberg, have not yet heard the last from Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss.

And he’s not just talking about the pistachio ads.

Before following in the pistachio-advertising footsteps of such fan favorites as Snooki and Levi Johnston, the Winklevii wondertwins had hoped to argue before the Supreme Court that Facebook short-changed them in their 2008 settlement. The brothers claim Zuckerberg’s company exaggerated the value of the $45 million in stock included in the deal. According to the Winklevosses, the value of the stock was actually closer to $11 million. The stock today is worth about $200 million, but Tyler and Cameron figure they should own something more to the tune of $650 million in Facebook stock.

Sympathy for the Winklevosses hasn’t exactly soared off the charts — it’s hard to feel bad about their missing millions when 9.1 percent of Americans don’t have jobs. But, maybe this will change your mind: Zuckerberg reportedly made a fake profile of Cameron on ConnectU, the Winklevosses’ ephemeral attempt at social media, and it’s quite mean. According to the profile, the language Cameron speaks is “WASP-y,” his ethnicity is “Better than you,” and his hair color, “Aryan Blond.”

“Where’s the outrage?” Cameron asked after showing Vachon the fake profile.

Well, Cameron, the outrage is probably lost on people who are not millionaires who have spent the better part of a decade stamping their feet and crying for more money. Or, as Cameron puts it, being “the guys who are trying to carry the torch of justice forward.”

But wait! The Winklevosses aren’t the privileged Ivy Leaguers everyone thinks they are. If you want to see the roots the Winklevii grew from, they tell Vachon, “Watch the first hour of Deer Hunter.”

So what’s the plan now for our rugged Russian-American steelworkers? Well, there isn’t one, really. The clearest message seems to be that they’re going to rain on the Facebook parade as often as possible. (Apparently reporters have told them that Facebook execs are upset any time the Brothers Winklevii are mentioned. Frankly, I don’t think this proves anything — most people share this sentiment.) In the meantime, they might be headed to Hollywood where they can exploit their friendships with Kevin Spacey and Scott Rudin in between Facebook-revenge hijinks.

One thing is certain: they aren’t going to give up. It’s not what muscly Olympic rowers do. Poor Mark Zuckerberg — the Winklevii twins have managed to turn him into a billionaire who deserves sympathy.

“He must think we’ll go away,” Tyler told Vachon. “He must think he’ll get away with it.”

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