There are two kinds of editors at Wired: those who walk around desks and those who walk over them. When faced with an obstacle—say, a cubicle wall—the walkers take the lazy, long way around. The climbers, on the other hand, strap on a pair of Cyborg stainless steel crampons. With adjustable hooded vertical frontpoints and 10 secondary spikes, these cleats will grip rock edges, ice, particleboard … whatever’s in your path. Or at least they would. Turns out the actual two kinds of editors are those who walk around desks because they want to and those who do it because of their “special meeting” with HR.