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Vendredi, 25 Novembre 2011 12:30

The Worst War Movies Ever, From Delta Force to The Empire Strikes Back

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Most of us in the U.S. never experience the horror of war. Instead of serving, we plop our fat asses in front of war movies to get a vicarious sense of battle. Too bad most of those movies suck.

Most often, war movies are terrible, corny affairs, riddled with inaccuracies and jingoism. The best of the worst, however, are inadvertently hilarious. Cartoonish violence. Ill-conceived depictions of battle. Patronizing stereotypes of the people called upon to fight wars while the rest of us relax in a movie theater. These movies don't reflect well on their creators.

But that's what makes them so awesome. We don't always have the emotional or intellectual bandwidth for The Deer Hunter. That's where these movies come in. They remind us, however accidentally, that the only thing worse than these corny, cringeworthy films is the warfare they ineptly try to display. Careful: Many of these clips are NSFW.

The '80s were a simpler time. Terrorists wore jackets and ties to hijack civilian airliners. They didn't actually want to kill (many) people. And Chuck Norris was free to be Chuck Norris, landing in Beirut with Lee Marvin and Delta Force to Chuck Norris the terrorists to death.

The act of Chuck Norrising does not allow for much stealth. T.E. Lawrence might have instructed that rifles and knives are the best weapons for discrete, small-unit warfare. But Chuck Norris prefers bazookas. He'll negotiate with terrorists, but only after he's riddled them with bullets. If Delta Force was real, Beirut would have been a charnel house, even for civil war-era Lebanon. That's because Chuck Norris acts like a man awaiting his inevitable meme-dom. Before there was the internet, there was Delta Force.

The Worst War Movies Ever, From Delta Force to The Empire Strikes BackSpencer Ackerman is Danger Room's senior reporter, based out of Washington, D.C., covering weapons of doom and the strategies they're used to implement.
Follow @attackerman and @dangerroom on Twitter.


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