Everybody knows that it’s inappropriate to tweet from the toilet. Of course, that’s not stopping social media entrepreneurs from butting into every aspect of our lives. And why not? There’s megabucks to be made. If Facebook goes public next year as expected, estimates peg its valuation at up to $100 billion. Even humble microblogging site Tumblr is supposedly worth about $800 million—almost as much as The New York Times. So whether you’re sitting on the throne or talking to a soda machine, there will soon be a new social feature urging you to share. You like to share, right? Right?!?!
In Your Cubicle
Not only does the CEIVA Digital Photo Frame automatically upload from Facebook, Picasa, and iPhoto, it also lets you photo-bomb a friend’s frame. Watch for when the boss stops by his desk, then shoot over that awesome picture from his bachelor party.
On Your Smoke Break
When not scoffing at old-timers who still rely on fire (how quaint), devotees of blu, an e-cigarette, will be able to use their smart packs to swap info with nearby e-smokers and, presumably, talk about the joy of inhaling cherry-flavored nicotine vapor.
In the Fast Lane
Tailgating goes high tech with Bump.com, the app that lets users enter a license plate number and swap messages with the driver—if they also use Bump. That’s just what we need: something that encourages more people to text while driving. It should be called Crash.
In the Bathroom
The forthcoming CLOO’ app makes all the world your toilet. It helps Starbucks-phobic city slickers access a friend of a friend’s clean commode via their social network, then use said bathroom for a small fee. The future is now—and it demands a courtesy flush.
In Your Gut
Hey, Facebook, the European Molecular Biology Laboratory is gunning for you! Its my.microbes site links users who share info about their gastrointestinal bacteria, enabling them to swap tales of digestion gone wrong. Membership: $2,000 and the willingness to use a stool-sample kit.
In the Break Room
PepsiCo’s Social Vending System has a touchscreen that lets you buy a soda or “gift” one to a friend; the system texts your pal a code that can be redeemed on any compatible machine. Record a brief video message, too, and they’ll see it when they get their drink.
In the Kitchen
The Samsung RF4289 refrigerator sports an 8-inch touchscreen that connects owners to all the major 21st-century food groups: Twitter, Picasa, Pandora, WeatherBug, AP news, Google calendar, and more. Oh, and apparently it also keeps food cold. Not bad for $3,499.
On a Diet
One surefire way to drop some pounds: “peer motivation” (read: public shaming). Hop on the Withings scale and share your current weight and BMI via Twitter. The only thing more amazing? Your bored friends will actually long for the days when all you did was tweet about The X Factor.
Illustrations: Robert Samuel Hanson